This isn’t the first piece of art I created, but it most certainly feels like it. I had been illustrating and making art since I was a child, but this felt like the first time I had expressed something from within myself. I was not in a good place, at the time. I suffer from depression and was dealing with major identity issues in 2010, the time I created this.
This time of my life was a transitionary period. In the years prior, I had been slowly breaking away from my religious upbringing and reevaluating my thoughts and perception of the world. I got to a point where I didn’t know what was my own thoughts and what was indoctrination. Also, a life time of gender identity issues had caught up with me. I was so terrified to explore that, because what it could mean for my relationships and my life. It’s strange to think that the topic of being transgender is still a very recent one.
When I sat down on August 10th, 2010, my goal was to just draw something to go on a t-shirt. I hadn’t been particularly happy with my options, so I figured I could make something more in my style. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I began sketching and this emerged from that. In the moment, I was definitely impressed with what I created, but it didn’t have a major impact on me at first. As the days went on, I would look at the print out I had displayed on my desk and it kept tugging at my imagination. After a few days, I knew I had to keep exploring this chain of thoughts and see what developed.